( COFFEE & CIGARETTES )

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MANHATTAN, NEW YORK

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Welcome to brookdale academy, school of the elite! here at brookdale, we put your children to a higher standard, and give them the tools and potential to become great. with our brilliant academics and well known sports teams, your child will have the best of the best by coming to brookdale academy. our teachers often work one on one with students to further their potential, and provide a very hands on class. students are held to the highest expectations on and off the grounds of brookdale, which is something most take very seriously. nearly all of our students move onto new york university, where your child can master the skills that we teach them here at brookdale academy. not to mention, we are now offering scholarships to students who cannot afford our tuition, but are truly gifted in their studies.

From that little paragraph out of brookdale academy's brochure, you'd assume that the academy, which was founded in 1895 by benjamin brookdale, is the school every parent dreams their son or daughter could attend. the teachers are caring, and their students can be comfortable around them when extra help is needed. the students are nice and unjudging, accepting everyone for who they are. the school is a gossip-free learning environment, where students all work together in peace and harmony. you could say the same about new york university, which is located just across the city from brookdale academy, along with their frats and sororities. no hazing, no unwritten rules, just simple pledging and then you're in.

What a load of crap, huh? lady burner here, and as a current student at brookdale academy i can personally tell you that if you think that it's the picture of perfection, you're insane. once you enroll into brookdale and nyu, you enter a world where gossip isn't just a pastime, but an addiction. rumors spread like wildfire, burning precious reputations in a matter of seconds. things are done in secret, and everyone has enough skeletons in their closet to make a graveyard. students are far too comfortable around their teachers, and most of them are sleeping with one or even two of their students. and lets not forget the crazy parties filled with with drugs and booze, the tabloids covered in pictures of bda and nyu's most elite, and the roller coaster lifestyle we all live in. the sororities and frats are ruled by their presidents, and base their pledging all around hazing, partying, and who's got the most cash for the next rager.

As you can see, playing by the rules is optional here, coming from money isn't. if you aren't, prepare to be outcasted faster than last season's prada handbag. the beautiful and wealthy students known as the royals at bda run it, while the kappas and sigmas rule over all of nyu. you better get used to it or you'll be living unhappily for the rest of your student career. everyone's prepared to push anyone out of the way to get what they want, when they want. but what did you expect? for them to play nice? sweetheart, please. backstabbing and breaking hearts is what upper east siders do.

be careful not to get burned,
-lady burner

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CANONS

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